Mercedes Morales, a Statistics major in the Class of 2028, reflects on her experience participating in the Alternative Service Break Panama WASH Program with Global Health Brigades.

This past Alternative Service Break, I had the opportunity to travel to Panama with a group of twenty students and faculty, including Dr. Sullivan, to participate in a Water, Sanitation, and Hygiene (WASH) program in partnership with Global Health Brigades. Our objective was to build the foundational structure for bathrooms in a rural Panamanian community, a project that would not only benefit the families directly involved, but eventually the community at large as future groups continue the work. What made this experience particularly meaningful was how immersive it was. We stayed in a compound situated within the community itself, managed by local staff. Our drivers, translators, and coordinators were all community members, and we shared authentic meals prepared by local cooks. At the school where we worked, we partnered directly with the parents’ association , a group of roughly five fathers from the community who showed up every day ready to build. Watching the community rally around a shared goal was one of the most inspiring things I witnessed on the trip. 

I chose this experience intentionally. Public health is a field I hope to enter after graduation, and I wanted to see what that work looks like in practice, in a real community with real constraints. I was especially drawn to Global Brigades’ model because it prioritizes long-term impact over short-term fixes. We only laid the foundation, but subsequent groups will continue construction, and the community will eventually receive training on how to maintain the facilities. That continuity matters. It signals a commitment to sustainability rather than a one-time intervention, which often hurts the communities over time as they are left with the infrastructure but not the knowledge or resources to upkeep them .

Going into the experience, my goal was to give everything I had to the work. Physically and mentally, I believe I did that. We faced some challenges, some materials weren’t ready on time and we faced other logistical constraints outside of our control, but the project moved forward and we made meaningful progress. There were moments of frustration, particularly when I felt some group members weren’t as engaged as others, but I had to redirect myself back to my own purpose and commitment. I reminded myself that I could only control my own effort, and that was enough. 

What I did not anticipate was the more complex reflection this trip would leave me with. I come from an underserved community in southern Mexico. I have been on the receiving end of service ,not directly, but I have watched my community be supported by outside groups, and I remember the deep gratitude that came with it. That memory is a large part of why I wanted to participate in the first place. Now that I am in a position to give, I feel a responsibility to do so. My worldview did not change on this trip , I already understood that global disparities exist , but my understanding of service itself became more nuanced. 

ASB and Global Brigades put significant thought into avoiding the “white savior” dynamic, and I genuinely believe everyone in our group came with good intentions. Even so, I found myself quietly grappling with the tension between service and being served. Between our meal accommodations, leisure time, and the visible effort the compound manager put into making us comfortable, I couldn’t help but wonder: even when we go to give, do we still end up taking? I want to be clear, the leisure time did not diminish the work we accomplished, and being treated warmly by the community was a genuine gift. But it left me with questions I am still sitting with: What does real service look like? If this becomes my career, how do I ensure I am acting ethically while still making a meaningful impact? And maybe the question that I think about the most, does service require self-sacrifice, or can care for others and care for ourselves exist at the same time?

One comment from a fellow group member has also stayed with me. Someone remarked that the community members seemed so happy with so little. I understood the sentiment, but I also knew it wasn’t that simple. I have lived that life. I was happy in my community, I felt loved, and I loved in return , but I also remember the hardships. I remember when healthcare wasn’t accessible, when rent was a struggle, when we had to spend weeks without basic necessities like running water , when people had to leave home just to find work. And now, living a life where my basic needs are met and then some, I find myself with a different kind of struggle: fully booked days, the pressure of hustle culture, and very little time to simply rest. This trip reminded me to keep looking for that middle ground , a life where I can contribute meaningfully without losing myself in the process. 

Ultimately, this experience enriched both my perspective and my sense of purpose. It challenged my all-or-nothing mentality and gave me a more honest framework for thinking about service, equity, and the kind of public health professional I want to become. It is now one of the foundational reference points I will carry into future service work. I am deeply grateful to the Goodnight Scholarship for making experiences like this possible.